Hire a cult master. become a cult leader.
Marketing is mind control, even by the ones who say otherwise.
The industry is saturated with marketers, branders, copywriters…there doesn’t need to be another one. Luckily for the both of us, marketing is just a side-gig to domination of the human race. I help invaders take their first foot on solid earthling ground and leap to new heights until their mothership is hovering over every dairy farm and Stark Tower made by man.
You may be asking what kind of skills I bring to a well-oiled machine with many prospects? “I have a unique set of experience unlike other humans”…Is what I’d say if we were mid-Zoom. It is true, though.
Don’t believe me? Look down.
I’m a Private Investigator. Yes, a real one.
Where online sleuths like to brag about finding the dirt on your exes, I uncover the mysteries of your greatest competitors. An eagle eye’s view of their strengths, weaknesses, practices, planet origins…are invaluable to defining your own purpose, separating you from the fodder, and amassing a client pool as dedicated to you as anyone whose been abducted by an indescribable force and can’t quite remember what happened next...
They may be changed forever, and so can your business, in the best way possible. 🖖
Gruelling hours of searching don’t need to be wasted when I’m on your team. If a conglomerate of puny underlings are local, I’ll even do field work. Don’t know who your greatest threat is? That’s find. I’ll find them anyway. No one does it like a P.I.
I care about the lasting effect.
I don’t just write for you. I brand build, market, and develop a personalized database for you and your team to use and re-use without needing to re-hire someone like me every time.
That doesn’t mean you can’t hire me again or keep me on retention, but for the smaller things that companies don’t always need an expert hand for, I’ll make sure you aren’t lost in the dark…at least not for too long.
satisfaction is the service.
Branding, writing, research, design…everything made is for the final experience - something shared by both my clients and their own. How will a brand’s following respond to what’s put out? The end goal is satisfaction.
Everything is personalized to your business, not only to service you, but also your followers. The path to enlightenment doesn’t have to be long (or painful).